Meet Michelle Thomas, the legend that personifies the phrase ‘sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me’. When she agreed to go on a date with a boy named Simon, she couldn’t have imagined the message that would proceed.
This tool swiped right for Michelle, yet on meeting her he decided she wasn’t really his cup of tea. Obviously that’s totally fine, dating is all about trial and error. However, the nasty way this guy went about letting her down was utter bullshit.
Simon’s obviously been watching Wimbledon recently because he hits Michelle with an onslaught of backhanded compliments, mixed with a few damaging body slams. Saying shit like “I am hugely turned on by your mind, your face…I can’t say the same about your figure”. What a cock.
The dates baffling and totally uncalled for message went like this:
“Hey Michelle, sorry been super busy at work today hun.
Thanks for a wonderful evening last night. I really enjoyed your company and actually adore you. You’re cheeky and funny and just the sort of girl I would love to go out with if only my body and mind would let me. But I fear it won’t.
I’m not going to bulls–t you… I f–king adore you Michelle and I think you’re the prettiest looking girl I’ve ever met. But my mind gets turned on my someone slimmer.
Shallow? It’s not meant to be. It’s the same reaction you get when you read a great author or see an amazing image, or listen to a piece of music you love, it has that instant reaction in you that makes you crave more.
So whilst I am hugely turned on by your mind, your face, your personality (and God…I really, really am), I can’t say the same about your figure. So I can sit there and flirt and have the most incredibly fun evening, but I have this awful feeling that when we got undressed my body would let me down. I don’t want that to happen baby. I don’t want to be lying there next to you, and you asking me why I’m not hard.
There are certain triggers that fire my imagination into life and your wit and intelligence are the beginning of that process which would inevitably end up in the bedroom. With just one result….
I’m so disappointed in myself Michelle because I’ve genuinely not felt this way about anyone in ages, but I’m trying to be honest with you without sounding like a total knobhead.
We could be amazing friends, we could flirt and joke and adore each other and… f–k me… I would marry you like a shot if you were a slip of a girl because what you have in that mind of yours is utterly unique, and I really really love it.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m trying to avoid bigger pain in the future by telling you now so we don’t have to go through that embarrassment. I’m a man… With all the red hot lusts of a man and all the failings of a man and I’m sure of my own body and its needs. Please try and forgive me. I adore you xx”
If you looked up the definition of ‘arsehole’ in the dictionary, you’d probably see a picture of this guys face. Basically she wasn’t skinny enough for him. He must think he’s bloody David Beckham or something. I’d put quite a lot of money on the fact that he’s not.
Obviously Michelle was shattered and completely devastated by the rejection, but she didn’t let this destroy her. On the contrary, she did something truly epic and wrote a kick arse reply. Not to his private account, but on her blog for all the world to see. Unlucky Simon you picked the wrong chick to body shame.